I have a problem. I am a major splurger. Worse yet, I am a major justifier and can rationalize nearly all of my impulse buys. Including my house. (Who the heck buys their house on impulse? Um, that would be me. “Honey, it’s my birthday! I want to go look at new construction model homes to get decorating ideas! Don’t worry…we are not buying anything!” Except we did.)
As if my house wasn’t a large enough example, here is another one: I am writing this from our brand-spankin’-new laptop that we didn’t necessarily (or even remotely) NEED, but really wanted. With Jon in school, he can use a laptop while on the train to get homework done, and I can use it while he’s doing homework on our PC. I can also work on my digital scrapbooks at friends’ houses, instead of dragging all my print stuff. But still: with him working only sporadically, this was certainly a splurge.
This splurging tendency not only affects me financally, but weight-wise as well. Just as I splurge on major purchases and justify everything to the point of insanity, I also splurge on treats. Only a “treat” implies that it is rare, whereas I seem to splurge more often than I don’t.
I’m tired of it. I DON’T deserve it. I deserve to NOT eat it and feel great. I deserve a long run that makes me feel proud, a home-cooked meal that shows me I’m worth taking the time to cook something nice. I deserve to see the numbers drop on the scale. Why is this so hard to remember when I’m looking at a carton of ice cream?
If I could get rid of the tendency to splurge, I think I’d hit the self-improvement trifecta: improved finances, healthier eating and less clutter from all of the impulse purchases. I’d also probably become a decent cook, because I wouldn’t rationalize a(nother) stop at Chipotle on the way home from work.
As soon as I figure out how to stop this madness, I’ll report back–but don’t hold your breath. It’s going to take major work to rid myself of a 28-year-old tendency.
PS: That picture is me at my very heaviest. I can look at that picture and remember exactly how I felt at the time–and it’s a great reminder of exactly why I shouldn’t be splurging.