I owe my mental return to a few things:
1. Gaining a few pounds while in Charleston
2. Noticing that my jeans are a bit tight
3. Being inspired by Melissa’s success in our weight loss contest
4. And, most of all, a recent common on my blog.
Here is that comment from Nota in its entirety:
Okay, I thought about this for a day or so before responding, but I need to say something. I think you need to get your Wish board back out with the picture of that dress and that baby and those seatbelts. Your posts and your responses have recently been all about what you WILL do – future tense. That doesn’t work. You already know this. Your weight struggle is about what you are doing RIGHT NOW. The decisions you are making today. Get in the present tense. Get your head back in this. Get RIGHT THIS MINUTE! How did the processed crap get back in your kitchen to begin with? What are you eating on vacation? You’re going to get mad and get started when you get home? Girrrll – you got started on this a few weeks ago. You’re on this journey already. Aren’t you done being heavy yet? It sounded like you were before, but now – I don’t know. You don’t sound mad to me. You’re making an awful lot of excuses for yourself and pushing things off to future thinking. Sorry to be so harsh, but that’s what I see, and I can’t follow you down the rabbit hole to putting all this weight back on – and squandering the huge gift of guidance, love and support that you were given through the contest. So many people wanted that opportunity – and you’re on your way to being the person that other people say “she lost it for that contest but then she put it all back on” about. Do you want to be that girl? What are you doing?
Holy crap, it’s like the girl can see my entire brain. This post made me cry, made me determined and resonated through every cell of my body. I promptly threw out my grocery list (which focused on getting “good deals” from coupons) and drafted a new one. I now have a pantry that looks exactly like it did during my weight loss contest and I’m so excited about it. I also downloaded a few podcasts to take with me to the gym today (and tomorrow and the next day).
She is so right that I’d lost my drive. I was sure I could fix it tomorrow–ironic, given that I created a blog called Starting This Minute. But today is yesterday’s tomorrow. And tomorrow will be today and I’ll simply put it off to another tomorrow that will never come. So it’s time to grab life by the horns and take some responsibility for my choices. And my choices are these:
1. Train for three more 5Ks before my 30th birthday.
2. Wear a size 12 by my 30th birthday.
3. Be in great shape to get pregnant by the time we are ready (maybe 18 months or so from now?).
4. Train for a 10K in early fall, a 15K in late fall and the Disney Princess Half in 2013. Eek. This sounds so impossible that I don’t want to even write it down, but there’s no way I’ll get there if I don’t fully commit.
5. Figure out how the heck I’m going to pay for the Disney Princess Half!
6. Help motivate and inspire someone else, like Nota has done for me!
So, thank you for the tough love, Nota. Please keep reading. I’m sure I’ll need you again along the way–but, while I may slip up, I will absolutely not GIVE up.